San Francisco Auto Show

As the economy struggles and Congress considers a $25 billion bailout of the Big Three, automakers put on their best face at auto shows like the San Francisco International Auto Show going on this week at the Moscone Center. A few highlights:

I don't want us to pay $25 billion to save this (Hummer H2):

Things have gotten so bad. they're selling used cars at the auto show (1940 Buick)

For those above it all (Bentley):

Escape pod for an Escalade (Smart car):

The carmakers are supposed to come back to Congress next month with a plan on how to spend the $25 billion taxpayers may pony up to save their industry. Here are five conditions I think should be placed on them getting the funds.

5. The gas filler door should go either on the left side or the right side of the car. Pick one!

4. Apologize for the Vega, the Pinto, the Gremlin and the Pacer.

3. Service departments barred from saying, “They all make that noise.”

2. An Escalade Hybrid? Are you f-ing kidding me?

And the number one condition for the $25 billion bailout:

1.Flying car: still waiting.